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Getting hurt for the first time, it's horrible.
Getting hurt twice, now that can be even worse than the first time.
By the third time you get hurt, it wouldn't hurt as bad coz you've got used to it, and you'd notice that you have become a different person than you used to be.
For the first time, you might have tried really hard to put the broken pieces back together, but when you get broken over and over again, you tend to just let it be because you've learned that even if you manage to put all the pieces back, you'll get injured in the process and at the end, it will never be the same as before.
I give up, I'm tired of pretending like I'm okay when actually I'm not.

I had two different dreams last night.
The first one is about someone I'm trying to forget (why do you keep haunting me in my dream?)
The second is another nightmare, again. Getting married to an unknown guy, a marriage that has been set up by my parents. And last nite, it was even worse, and disgusting.

I had a great time at Kathy's place last night. (it's Kathy, with a K, missy *wink*)
She personally invited me to give her a hand with cooking, so both me and Kathy started to prepare dinner for 11 people from 645pm until 830pm, but only 9 managed to turn up. She is hilarious, I like that very much about her.

I've become very sensitive with all this raya thingy, that I don't even want to get a wish of 'selamat hari raya blablabla' from anyone. Raya has lost its meaning to me.
perasaan ketika ini, kosong, zero, nil.

..sigh..