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So here I am, back at home since 3 days ago. Early this morning, I went out to KL to hang out with my brothers, thought I could have some fun now that the summer exam is over. Apparently, I thought wrong. It just brought back the old memories that I've been trying to forget all this time. It reminds me of my past, it reminds me of how sad and how lonely I feel, it reminds me of how pathetic I was, it reminds me of some people I don't wish to be kept in my memory storage. I feel like running away. Far away back to where I belong coz I don't belong here, as what a friend told me long time ago.

For almost a year, I've been building this whole suit of armour, to protect myself from feeling or being hurt again, but honestly speaking, I'm actually not ready yet to come back to Malaysia, if it wasn't because of the problems that I had to come back, I wouldn't have been here today, I would be enjoying my summer in Europe. However, I kept telling myself that I cant be selfish, thinking about myself when others need me here.

I truly miss Ireland, I especially miss Cork, the people, the peacefulness, everything really. I felt very sad the moment I boarded the plane and left Cork half-heartedly. The truth is, I love staying in Ireland as I find peace, freedom and loads more that can't be described by words. I'm trying to be someone new, to be a better person, and though I've changed a lot from last time, I still think that's not enough. And I don't know why, I feel like I'm better off alone, isolating myself from other people is probably the best idea , well that is what I've been trying to do for quite awhile now. It might seem like I'm trying to escape or avoid the harsh reality, but I really don't know what else can I do..